Difficult milestones when you have autism Jimmy’s 21st Birthday feels a lot like his 16th and 18th Birthdays

Jimmy and Dad at Minneapolis Institute of Arts
with his
painting Girl with Cork II

Most people that know me would say that I am a positive, cup half full kind of person.  I usually feel that way. For reasons that I don’t completely understand but have a hunch about, Jimmy’s birthday seems to cause me sadness and regret.  Jimmy will be 21 years old on July 6^th.  I had great difficulty on his 16^th and 18^th birthdays.  The milestone birthday for most young adults are filled with excitement about the future.  For me, I can’t let go of the losses…driver’s license, true companionship, need for guardianship, voting, lack of independence, etc…

Man of the World by Jimmy Reagan
Arcrylic on Canvas 2013
36"x48"
Watch Jimmy create this painting on YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4zQgB5eG2Tc

While our kids and Josh, are excited about the prospects of Jimmy being legal, I feel regret that I haven’t changed his trajectory in life, especially as it related to his healthcare challenges.   Jimmy seems to like the discussions that Jack has with him about having a sip of wine and a puff of a cigar. Jimmy just wants to be like everyone else and experience the things he sees in life, TV and the movies.

Jimmy has gained notoriety for his art and is making his way as an artist.  His differences likely make his artwork unique. We are grateful that he has this gift and that it is well appreciated by others.   It is a marvelous outlet for him to express himself when words are otherwise lost.

Head Hurts by Jimmy Reagan
His Yoga teacher asked him to show her how
his head felt when it hurts

Wednesday morning, I had to take Jimmy to the U of MN Autism Clinic for evaluation for the County.  He has several pieces of his artwork hung in the clinic.  I hadn’t seen them in a long time.  Two are images that he created for his yoga teacher…..show us head hurts and stomach hurts.   The images make his point as it has been a particularly tough year with regard to his health.  I am baffled by how it is that he is allergic to food….but, he is. He will be scoped again this month to see the progress of the last six months of medical treatment.  We are sure that there is some improvement but not as much as we would like.  I hope and pray that medicine will discover better treatment options Jimmy.  It is heartbreaking to see him sit on the couch in tears crying in pain that we can’t fully comprehend or understand. His doctors are trying to understand his symptom and treat creatively….we are so far from the years ago when I sat in the doctors offices trying to convince doctors that there was something wrong as they dismissed his symptoms and my concerns.  Now, his condition is very interesting.  I hope and pray for solutions for Jimmy that will positively impact him and other families.

Stomach Hurts by JImmy Reagan

Jimmy doesn’t receive any benefits from the County, State or Federal government….he never has.  Yet, the County/government agencies still make him/us/me go through the assessment process again and again.  We have almost no contact with the County…I was told his case manager has 160 clients.  His diagnosis hasn’t changed since he was 2 ½ years old.  We have to make changes in how benefits and services work for those with autism.  People with autism don’t often fit into service categories the right way because their skill sets are so variant.  The process is so demeaning for him and for us. I am told how handicapped he is and how “challenging” my life and the life of my family is.  Followed by he doesn't qualify for services.  How is that possible?  It makes me sad that I couldn’t change this experience for him and us. But, it is what it is and we work hard to make the best of it for him and us.

Untitled lost image by JImmy Reagan from 2009

I lighten my thoughts when I look at his artwork and the bright happy colors he chooses. I tell myself that they are a glimpse into his world that chooses happiness. I visualize his joy when he shows his art and I see the gratifying smile on his face.   His artwork has grown so much since he began in 2009.  So, he is growing as a human being…isn’t that we all want to do in our life and careers?

"Selfie" by Jimmy Reagan
Acrylic on Canvas 2014
16"x20"

So, I will say we are blessed and see our challenges as a means to make change for Jimmy and others.  It’s a pathway to learn from the human experience and try to make changes that matter to us and others.

I lighten my emotional low on these milestone birthdays when I think of the joy Jimmy brings to other people and the hope that his art offers others as well as I remind myself that he has a purpose in life and that is really important.

Jimmy at the Good Purpose Gally in Lee, MA with his paintings
Goodbye Ron", "Girl with Leaves", Jim" and "Elizabeth".
Jimmy has a solo show at
Good Purpose November through January of 2014/15
www.goodpurpose.org

Jimmy Reagan Lost Images

Sometime in early 2010, I took roughly 50 of Jimmy's images to a printing firm to be scanned and to have our first group of note cards created.  After I delivered the artwork for scanning, I couldn't seem to reach the staff or owners of the business to retrieve the artwork.  After weeks of trying, I went to the shop and was told they couldn't find the artwork....it was lost.  I was stunned and shocked.  I was told that they had a disgruntled employee who either took them or disposed of them.  Fortunately, I had taken poor digital images of the artwork.  I thought I'd post some of these as Jimmy has grown so much as an artist since 2009 when he began creating art.  I miss these works particularly the portraits of van Gogh...so much emotion in them.  You can view current works at www.throughjimmyseyes.com 

Thanks Mike Binkley and WCCO!

Watch WCCO reporter Mike Binkley's report on Jimmy.  Thanks Mike!

Here it is: http://minnesota.cbslocal.com/video/10061529-local-artist-with-autism-gets-international-attention/ 

Jimmy Reagan "Selfie" in the works

Respite…turn off to turn on

I returned from a much needs vacation with my husband last night. We stayed at a lovely resort in Mexico. Over the last 25 years when Brian and I vacation without kids, it’s usually full of lots of activity with a go go mentality.  This last year seemed to be so full of daily go go that I felt it would be best for us to go and sit…turn off everything…phone, computer, demands of any kind.  So this is what we did.  

"Italian Coast" by Jimmy Reagan - the Caribbean in
Mexico looks just like the water in this painting. 

While in Mexico, I noticed many things….families and couples enjoying the sun and beaches…..couples, kids and parents next to each other on their iPads…ear buds in….texting someone other than the person they were with.  There is an iPhone commercial that illustrates this situation and it has bothered me for sometime.  I saw it in action in Mexico.

Brian and I wanted to be in the moment….with each other….so we turned off electronics.   My kids often tell me these days that I am distracted not hearing what they are saying…not paying attention….distracted by communications.  I understand…..and it makes me sad.  All the gadgets in our lives…they make things more convenient….but, what impact do they have on our relationships with each other? We are gathering every piece of information from every source…except what is right next to us….in front of us….with us in the moment.

" Man with Pipe" by Jimmy Reagan
This is Jimmy's portrait of Matisse. I was finishing a
fascinating book on Matisse while in Mexico

Hotel employees greeted us with smiles and hellos….how can we help…..what are you interested in…..seemingly interested in me/us and in the moment that they were helping to create.  Mexican hotel workers quickly attending to our every need always knowing my name and looking me in the eye….they were listening and not distracted….they were paying attention….this was so appealing.  Now, you might say…hotel workers are doing their job….but, I think it is more than that….they appreciate that we chose to visit their hotel and they were grateful for us….really grateful and genuinely interested in us. I was particularly taken by their efforts to make eye contact given how absent it seemed to be with hotel guests.

Brian and I got to know the staff at the restaurant where we ate breakfast each morning chatting with the staff and learning about their lives in Cancun.  On our last morning, Rodger, the café manager, kindly asked if we enjoyed our stay.  We responded with profuse thanks and approval.  He mentioned that each morning before service he met with his staff and shared with them comments he’d received both good and bad.  “I use this as motivation and I will share your nice comments with our staff.” Brian and I felt that the staff  (who made our stay so lovely and who likely didn’t earn very much money) was happy for their job and did their best for us.  Brian and I both thought it was important to write to note to Rodger and his staff. 

I carry Jimmy’s note cards with me when I travel. Brian and I were so touched by Rodger that we decided to give him some of Jimmy’s cards and we wrote a note to his staff.  Brian went to check out of the hotel and while I delivered  the note and cards to Rodger.  Rodger was clearly touched by the jesture.  He profusely thanked me....we hugged and said goodbye. While waiting for Brian to complete checkout…Rodger came running up the stairs….Mrs. and Mr. Reagan I need to show you something.  He had his phone in his hand…..”your cards mean so much to me… I want to show you my youngest son, he has Downs….he’s such a smart and good boy.”  Brian and I proudly watched a video of Rodger’s beautiful young son.  Jimmy’s cards gave him hope and we shared a commonality.  Our last engagement with Rodger will have a lasting impact on Brian and me.

"Girl from France" by Jimmy Reagan
Eye contact is a recurrent theme for Jimmy and
is illusive for many with autism.  His painting subjects make direct eye
contact drawing the viewer into the work.

I like being turned off….it refreshed my spirit and helped me better recognize all the good in my life. I will make a concerted effort to "turn off" so that I better see what is in front of me and beside me.